I can explain the Velveeta Shortage!
Apparently it’s not just Marion County that has a run on Velveeta cheese (I’m not so sure on the Marlboros, maybe it’s just that there are a lot of smokers in Marion County) when there are rumors of impending White Death.
It must be a universal redneck thing.
Impending White Death Apocalypse=Must Have Velveeta Cheese!
Who would have thought?
The good news is that I do have most of a (loaf? brick? box?) of Velveeta cheese left over from holiday scalloped potato adventures. If you wrap it up so it doesn’t dry out, and keep it in the fridge, it has a 3 bazillion year shelf life. It should outlive the cockroaches should there be a real apocalypse- unless the cockroaches get to it and eat it first.
I also have plenty of Wolf Brand Chili, sausage, and green peppers to go with the Velveeta cheese for nacho dip should I choose to make it. I don’t really give a rat’s ass about the Super Bowl, so I will have nachos when I feel like having nachos.