I admit I’m biased in favor of life. Especially when I hear of freaks like this. I don’t have sympathy for women who treat their newborns like trash, (or their unborn children, for that matter) especially if they live in states that allow you to turn in a newborn at a hospital or fire station with no questions asked. You might not want the kid, but someone else does. More importantly, that kid deserves some sort of a chance. There are millions of people who can’t have kids of their own for whatever reason who would be delighted to take your “unwanted” child in as their own.
All I can say to that is- unless she is profoundly mentally challenged, or suffering from an extreme mental illness- : selfish bitch.
So you were afraid your parents might think you’re a slut? I can almost understand that mentality from a 12 year old, but from someone who’s 23? Besides, I’d rather my parents think I’m a slut than for them to discover that I’m an attempted murderer.
I was 22 when my son was born. Yes I was (at the time) married to the sperm donor. However, my son was not planned, and the timing was awkward at best. Even so, it wasn’t a difficult choice- my son’s life and well-being took precedence over mine, and my son’s life and well-being definitely took precedence over my sorry excuse of an ex as well as said ex’s mother. That’s a long story and I am not entirely without fault, but even as a rather emotionally impaired specimen, I have some sense of when to do what’s right rather than what appears to be expedient- or even logical.
I’m not even one of those people who is thrilled about being around kids. One on one is OK, but not a whole gang of kids at one time. I have no clue what a normal childhood is supposed to look like other than what I gleaned from the child development charts and so forth that I pored over in the hopes that my child might possibly turn out to be normal- or at least gainfully employed, and not a serial killer. So far- and solely by the grace of God- my sorry parenting seems to have worked out. He does have a job and as far as I know he hasn’t killed anyone. As far as being normal, well, at least he is a good conversationalist, and he has good hygiene. Then again, the same could be said of Ted Bundy, so you never know.
Ted looked normal, but then, sociopaths usually do.
Even though I could never categorize myself as a warm-and-fuzzy mommy, I tried. My son, the precious only male child, did thank me for being a hard ass. That was probably the most rewarding thing he has ever said to me. It’s easy to just capitulate and give your kids what they want and attempt to shelter them from anything that might bruise their precious, fragile self-esteem. It’s hard to say no, to set boundaries, to instill a work ethic, and to adhere to certain moral absolutes, but your kid isn’t supposed to be your “buddy.” Maybe when they’re adults, but not when they are still kids and are still discovering why shampooing one’s hair and brushing one’s teeth daily are essential, mandatory life practices.
Mandatory: not negotiable, and NOT optional!
Our current societal mentality is all about what’s comfortable, what’s easy and what’s disposable. Raising a child is not comfortable, not easy, (not cheap either) and 23 years later, he still “needs mommy” but, thankfully, not in the same way he did as a toddler. I don’t have to bathe him or change shitty diapers, which is definitely a plus.
I don’t think the Roe v. Wade decision did much to make people see that children are valuable, but as heinous as the idea of killing innocent children for convenience sake is, it’s a symptom of a larger, age old problem.
It’s all about the pervasive view that, “It’s all about me,”- the temptation of the Garden. “I can have it all,” or as the serpent in the story tempts Eve- “you will be like God.” (Genesis 3:5)
It won’t make you God, but it will make your life a lot more complicated.
But isn’t hindsight 20/20?
Oh, yeah, we humans want to be our own gods. Believe that. Call it “original sin,” or “the depravity of man,” but that desire is the root and the essence of what’s wrong with humanity and society, and we can’t fix that longing because that’s written into who we are.
I know even though I find certain human actions to be reprehensible, that I am every bit as much a sinner and a violator as anyone else. I don’t have the authority to pass judgment on other people, and I don’t want that authority either. I know all too well that I don’t have much empathy, and I don’t have a high tolerance for stupid behavior. I will comment on the actions of others- and I do have the authority to condemn certain actions, even though I have no way of discerning the thought processes and motives behind those actions.
The only answer I have for that is: Kyrie elaison – God have mercy, Christ have mercy.
Have mercy on us all.